MADE OF HONOUR

THE MAKINGS OF A MAIDE OF HONOUR

Every bride needs a right hand man, a confidant, otherwise known as a Maid of Honour (MOH), to help her with preparations for the Big Day. However this role is not for the faint hearted, it needs to be undertaken by the right person, otherwise it could create more stress then its worth. When choosing the Maid of Honour, the bride should carefully consider the person who is best suited for the job from their family and friends.

There are different strokes for different folks, thus every bride has a different expectation of their Maid of Honour. It is best for the bride to know what she wants so that she can effectively communicate it. 

THE SELECTION PROCESS

Etiquette standards for selecting a Maid of Honour have relaxed over the years. The guide says that the sister nearest in age to you should be your Maid of Honour. However if your sister is much younger or not responsible enough to take on the role then you have to look elsewhere. If you would rather have a friend or another family relative take on that role then its better if you talk to your sister about this first. It may be more suitable to give her another position such as bridesmaid. Be sensitive to peoples feelings by communicating better to those around you.

It is now socially acceptable to have Co-Maids of Honour, Matron of Honour, Chief Bridesmaid or even a brother or male friend as Honour Attendant. If you are torn between your friends, you should think about sharing the role of the Maid of Honour. For example, one of your friends might be best suited to organise/ host your hen night, and the other can organise the bridesmaid activities or say a special reading at the church ceremony.

Take your friends personality into consideration. A strong personality might overshadow you and a shy personality might pacify you and not giving you an honest answer. 

QUALITIES TO LOOK FOR

There are certain qualities that a Maid of Honour should possess:

• Trustworthiness 

Your Maid of Honor should be someone who you can tell your worries and secrets to knowing that they wont repeat them without your permission. Overall trust would have been earned if worth and integrity have been proven over time.

• Responsible

There are a lot of tasks that the Maid of Honour will need to undertake.  An individual who can take care of their own matters, answer for their own action, agree to do something and do it, does not procrastinate and makes good judgement is best suited for this role.

• Time Keeper

An individual who is generally good with their time. If a meeting has been scheduled for 6 pm you can depend on them to turn up on time not to arrive an hour or two later.  The Maid of Honour will also need to help the bride and bridesmaids keep to time.

• Organised

Her ability to organise work is important. She will need to keep everything in order and remember important dates and documents.  

• Team Work Ability

Planning a wedding requires team work from a variety of people (both party families, bridesmaids, groomsmen). All team players need to work together to achieve a successful wedding. The Maid of Honour has to keep the peace within the team and not be the fire starter.

• Leadership Skills

Using her organisational and team work skills she will need to lead the bridesmaids through various wedding preparation activities. The Maid of Honour should be able to encourage others without being arrogant or too bossy. 

• Financial Availability

Most brides try to find out cost cutting ways to stay within their budget. Unless you have the additional money to pay for your Maid of Honour and bridesmaids etc, your Maid of Honor should be at a financial place where she can foot the bill of her dress and perhaps the cost of your bridal shower and any other smaller additional costs. In saying this be sensitive to her financial concerns. If you want to offer her financial support try not to come across as being patronizing. 

[Ways to offer financial support: You could cover the cost of alterations or the cost of her gown or accessories]

• An Encourager

Being in the limelight does not come naturally to everyone and the attention that a wedding can bring can be quite daunting. A bride needs a positive person who can encourage them every step of the way. Being around an overly pessimistic person can make one feel like their walking constantly with a dark cloud over their head. The Maid of Honour should be proactive and try to find solutions to problems rather than just finding faults. Problems may come but its how it is dealt with that determines a successful outcome.

• Emotional Availability

Planning for a wedding can take you on an emotional roller-coaster  and you need support during the process. Your Maid of Honour should be emotionally available to you. However if she having a difficult time herself it maybe hard for her to be there for you and could cause tension within your friendship. Save the heartache/ headache and find someone else who can be there for you emotionally.

• Physical Availability

The Maid of Honour will need to be on hand to either help answer phone calls, put together invitations or go shopping with you. It is possible to have a long distance Maid of Honour as long as she can help in some way from her location and make time in her schedule to help you out. 

If you find out that the person you had in mind to be your Maid of Honour is pregnant or will be a new mum by the time it is your wedding, then its best if you ask her  whether she would want to take on the role or not. Not all pregnant women will feel comfortable waddling down the aisle, bending down to try and straighten the train with their bump and leaky breasts. If she declines the offer she will be at least be grateful to you for having her in mind. 

MAID OF HONOUR DUTIES

- She helps the bride pick her wedding dress.

- Pays for her own dress and accessories.

- Hosts the hen's night or bridal shower.

- Signs the Marriage Certificate.

- She carries the groom's ring.

At The Wedding Ceremony

- Helps the bride with dressing and assists with the train,

- Assists with the bridal veil.

- Holds the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.

- Carries an emergency kit with needle and thread.

 - Carries extra nylons, a roll of tape etc...

 - Holds a copy of any special prayers.

 - Holds a copy of any readings for the ceremony.

 - She stands by the bride at the altar.

 - Supervises the bridesmaids.

At The Reception

- She is seated at the table of honour with the bride and groom.
- During the reception, she mixes with the guests.
- Is photographed as part of the wedding party.
- She dances with the best man at the reception.
- She helps the bride with her train during bridal dance.
- Helps the brides with train during photography.
- Gathers the single women for bouquet toss.
- Assists the bride in dressing for the honeymoon.
- Returning clothing items to the bride's home after the reception.
- May receive a shower gift and wedding gift from the bride.

Maid of Honor Duties Source: www.perfect-wedding-day.com 

Check out wedding.theknot.com for answers to your Maid of Honour (MOH) Questions.

I sincerely hope this has been useful to brides-to-be and those who have been given the role of being a Maid of Honour (MOH). It is a position that should be considered as a privilege and honour. If duties are carried out well, both the bride and her MOH will be left with fond and lasting memories.

HAVE FUN & ALL THE BEST!!